My first meeting with the hormone lady :"Cookie".

It's been awhile, but I wanted to update you on the whole menopause situation. I took my mom with me to meet with Cookie and we both got a lot out of it. She asked me all kinds of questions and then basically told me that my body was in survival mode. BIG SURPRISE!!! Anyway, she recommended several vitamins and minerals to help my body get back into sync. I have started a couple, but not all yet. I've never been much of a pill taker- so all these different pills are a bit intimidating. She also suggestive some lifestyle changes: eat better, quit smoking, cut out sodas, exercise, etc. I have made some changes- also I might just be switching bad habits. Sodas have been dramatically cut off, but coffee has become my best friend. The cigarettes will be the last thing dropped!!! I know, I know, I need to quit- but I really do enjoy it. I'll get there...
Today is my first day without a hot flash- HOORAY!!!!! So the HRT has definitely done it's job. But I do have a herbal alternative that I need to go ahead and start.
The emotional effects are sneaking through- although I am trying desperately to suppress them until after the holidays. I don't think I am depressed- but I have had a few "low" moments.
All in all- I'm hanging in there. I'll check back in soon to report on the "alternative" to hrt.

Her name is "Cookie"

So I get a phone call yesterday. "HI Amy, this is Cookie! How are you? How are you feeling?" Okay- I don't know anyone named Cookie so I am looking at my cell phone like it's going to show me a pic or give me a run down of this person. I say "Doing okay- do I know you?" Her southern charm pretty much jumped right through the phone. "I'm so sorry darlin'. You have an appointment with me tomorrow night, right?" AAAAHHHHH...... Everything starts to click then I look down at my hands which are already fevorishly taking notes (good thing because I thought I was about to miss her name again). She explains there must have been a mistake in the schduling as she doesn't see people after 4pm. Well- there went my blood pressure! But she can see on Thursday anytime (I have the day off- so that works).

So no meeting today- it's been moved to Thursday at 1:30pm. Nothing really else to report today. Hot flashes have calmed down . I am still having them- but they just are not as frequent.

Hanging Out

So, no major changes at this point. Hot flashes still prevailant, a little irritable, and my memory is coming and going. Apparently when a hot flash is coming on- I glow like a bright shade of red and heat RADIATES from me.

Haven't seen a huge difference from taking the hormones- except I am not in tears all the time. Looking forward to the hormone lady... I just wish I could remember what her name is...

Thanks to all for thoughts and prayers and special messages. They have really help in this past week. I've overcome asking why this is happening and am focusing on how to work through it all. One day at a time- in God's grace!!!

The Hormone Lady...

A friend of mine had suggested a drug store in Garner that compounds drugs and has lots of herbal and alternantive medicines. I'm reading some pretty freaky stuff about my hormones and definately was to get all the info I can. So last night after work, I go to the above mentioned drug store. I tell the lady a very condenced version of what's going on. Her eyes get big and she says: "We have a women you need to meet!" And she takes off for the front of the store.

Assuming we are actually going to meet someone, I'm wiping my sweating palms on my pants and giving my hair a good shake. We get to the front of the store and she holds up a spiral calendar with a business card taped to the front. "This is Jane Doe" (It happened so fast, that I actually have no idea what her name is- so we'll her Jane for the time being). I look at the business card and their is a picture of Jane. Silence. Crickets chirping. Do I say "Nice to meet you" to the business card? Finally- the gal explains that she is a nutrientist (I think- like I said, it all happened pretty fast) and a hormone specialist. She can tell me what to take, what to eat, what to do. (Am I about to meet Mrs. Garrett?)

She tells me everyone there sees Jane and she is truely an amazing person and it will be worth the wait. WAIT- huh?!?! She is only in on Tuesdays and Thursday. Oh. Okay. So next Tuesday she can speak with me? Nope. Her calendar is booked until OCt 28. WHAT?!?! I'm concerned about the hormones I'm taking right now!!!! They will be in system for 2 week by that point! Once again the girl says it's so worth the wait. Okay- Put me on the calendar. I'll swing by around 6 and grab whatever she reccomends on the way to dinner. Silence... Crickets chirping....

She looks at me pateintly and says that the "consultation" takes about an hour. WHAT!?!?! I'm starting to get a feeling this is not a free consultation. My insticts are correct. There is a fee- and not a small one either. But she once again goes on the praise wagon for Jane. It's so worth the wait and the time and the money!!!! Okay- sign me up.

So on October 28, 2008, I go to the witchdoctor... OOPS-I mean the hormone lady. Since I do not know her name, she is know to me only as the hormone lady.

Currently, I've taken 3 of my hormone pills and no major difference yet. Hot flashes are still here- however, I'm not having one during this writing, so maybe that is a positive sign. Thanks to Mel for the suggestion! If the hormone lady works for me- I'll be on the praise bandwagon as well.

We had a pretty quiet evening last night. It was my first evening free of tears- so I woke this morning with a feeling of accomplishment. Onto the weekend!!!! I'm hitting the fair tomorrow morning and will eat GOOD! Since the hormone lady might tell me not to eat junk anymore.

My Introduction

As I begin my story, I have currently in the middle of a hot flash. Pulling up my hair and madly fanning my neck. I have learned that applying coolness to the neck is the fasted way to cool down. RELIEF!!! Now I can begin my story...

My name is Amy and I am 33 years old. On October 14, 2008, my life changed before my eyes: I was told I was in early menopause. It all started a couple of weeks early. I was having hot flashes and dizzy spells- as well as some other "girlie" issues that you can probably guess. I was used to the hot flashes 2 years ago when I was on clomid. But they had stopped once I stopped the medication. So when they reappeared, I was a bit miffed. So I made an appointment for my annual "girlie" exam. When I told my doctor about my recent symptoms- he raised an eyebrow (literally- it was kind of freaky!). He said he wanted to run a blood test, not to worry it was only a slim chance. "Slim chance for what?" I asked. "Premature Ovarian Failure". Well sir. I'd never heard of such a thing. He said my results maybe in Friday, but possibly Monday.

So, I race home to my beloved Internet and do a search. My mouth dropped. The symptoms of this condition mirrored what I was going through. But my doctor said "SLIM CHANCE!- It might just be high blood pressure". On my hands and knees I begin to pray like crazy for high blood pressure. WHO prays for high blood pressure? A girl who is NOT ready for "the change!"
Friday came and went without a call. That means a whole weekend of wild wonder. Monday finally roles around and again no phone call. Okay- now I'm getting miffed again. WHY is this taking so long? Tuesday morning- I make the call. The doctor is in surgery and will call me this afternoon. Less than 2 minutes later- he is calling. Do doctors call from surgery if another patient is anxious enough?!?! Apparently not. He had just walked in and call me first thing.

"The news isn't good. Your FHS is at 66.9. Your ovaries have completely shut down. You are in menopause." Silence... If I was in the right state of mind- I might have heard the crickets chirping. Without realizing what I was saying, I said "So my chances of having a kid?". My doctors was very sincere in saying that the window just closed. He mentions something about hormones and my pharmacy. A hot flash is coming on... We hang up. I sit at my desk for a moment then send out an email to my team about the conversation that just took place. My boss emailed if I was okay- I relied simply, with only one word: "NO". One of my coworkers was there in an instant and just held me as I whaled. Then my boss sent me home....

Telling Mark. He knew something was up when the door opened. I walked in and fell into his arms. I apologized for not being able to give him kids. He apologized for not giving me kids sooner. We both said the other didn't need to apologize. We then look at the dog (Maple) and say "Well, you're the kid!"

I talked to my Dad for a while, as my Mom was out. I talked to Mom later and then took Maple to the dog park. I will never forget that afternoon as long as I live. It was a gorgeous afternoon and Maple was as happy as... well as happy as a dog free to run around with other dogs! I sat in a chair and took it all in. It was very surreal- almost poetic. Words cannot really describe my calmness that afternoon. I was to learned later that ALOT of people where praying for me during those moments... (Thanks to all!)

When I got home, Mark was just getting home as well. We talked for a little bit, then Mom called. She and Dad wanted to take us out to dinner. We dined at the Cracker Barrel then had dessert at DQ. It was really nice. My parents couldn't have children. Both my brother and I were adopted. They knew our agony... they knew our pain.

The hormones. Before dinner we ran by the pharmacy and got my HRT (hormone replacement therapy). It looks alot like bc pills in the little circular container. So I dialed up my day and dispensed my first pill. Last night I took my second pill. No marked changes in the first 36 hours.

These past few days have been heart wrenching. A friend emailed me and told me how "brave" I was to share my story so openly. I didn't think of myself as brave. I felt rather like a beat up wimp. I'm normally very optimistic and happy- so a marked change in me is very noticeable. I told me story as it was unfolding so that people would know and I wouldn't have to tell it 50 million times. So, here is my story in it's entirety. I will get back as often as I can to update you on the hormone therapy. I'm sure there will be stories....